that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this just has baby written all over it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
