She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
