Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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