This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
