Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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