Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
