rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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