you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
