k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
