The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
