Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize