I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
