Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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