do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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