yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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