stop calling my apartment porn island.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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