You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My vagina is officially offended.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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