I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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