If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
