i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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