I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize