We're facebook friends in real life
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
