It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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