I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize