One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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