Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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