Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
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Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
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I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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