I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
