I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
