Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize