I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
