Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
