On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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