somebody snuck up and got me drunk
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
