why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
