I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
