I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I want a musical about memes.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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