bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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