I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
