why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
