If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize