babies were throwing up all over the place
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
