I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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