definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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