24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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