Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
