i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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