Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
