Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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