why didn't you poke me back
Porn is love you can see.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
