Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
