those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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