dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
