best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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