hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
