Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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