which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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