your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i think i have herpe
just one?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
