the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
