Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
