i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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